Starring Luke Wilson, Giovanni Ribisi, James Caan, Gabriel Macht, Peter Stormare, Rachael Taylor, Kelsey Grammer, and Laura Ramsey
Directed by: George Gallo
I’ve started writing this first sentence about six times now… not really sure what colorful way to tell you what I thought about Middle Men. But here it is:
The movie just isn’t very good.
Middle Men models itself on Martin Scorcese’s lackluster Casino, from the fish-out-of-water lead (this time, instead of Ace Rothstein, we get Jack Harris… the man with a gift for solving problems, but little idea how in over his head he’d become) to the endless narration (Luke Wilson instead of De Niro) to the seedy inside look at the industry (here, Internet porn instead of gambling). Let’s see what else they can rip off… mob? Check. Tons of money spent on movie soundtrack? Check. Overzealous fuckups who bring the main character down by keeping him in trouble? Check. Hot chick who wraps the main character around her finger only to take advantage of him? Check.
Truth is, from what I’ve read, the real Christopher Mallick (the guy who Jack Harris is based on, and who actually produced this movie) was more fuckup than problem solver. Yes, it seems like he helped promote (not devise, mind you) a “brilliant” system for collecting money off the Internet for porn. But he also bankrupted one company, unsuccessfully sued MasterCard with another, was fired for misappropriating assets, probably had a little more to do with kiddie porn than the movie describes, and didn’t quite make the clean break from the world of porn that the movie claims. Sounds like a guy who loved Scorcese and thought this might be a good opportunity to whitewash his jizz-crusted former reputation as his current legit business prospects dry up.
Just a guess…
Can I get your autograph, credit card guy!?!
On the plus side is Luke Wilson, who delivers a pretty solid performance as Harris. He keeps things interesting and fairly believable – to a point. Harris is described as sort of a Texas version of Winston Wolf – he solves problems. That skill first sends him to straighten out a club in Vegas and then to California to help out a pair or rocket scientists (one of them actually worked for NASA) smooth over a problem with the Russian mob.
The two idiots in question, Wayne Beering (Giovanni Ribisi) and Buck Dolby (Gabriel Macht), are drug-addicts who somehow manage to build a program that collects money online for porn sites. Jack enters the picture and before you know it, he’s the reigning king of internet porn (seriously, Mallick’s ego is insane… we’re supposed to believe that he’s the must-have photo op at the Adult Video Awards. Really? The credit card guy is being sought after by porn stars? Oh-kay there, guy.).
So the movie bends over backward showing us how wild a lifestyle Jack and his new buddies have fallen into – both the pitfalls and the spoils. The way it’s all laid out is dizzying… we start the movie at the end and then go the beginning, only to throw flashback and flashforwards at us like Tarantino directing an episode of LOST while on crystal meth.
It zig-zags so much, you really don’t care what happens after a while… well, that and because everything is just so silly. Jack can’t understand why the wife he never sees (because she lives in Texas with the kids while he spends years overseeing this porn business) becomes disenchanted with him. The FBI follows Jack around so that… well, if you guessed “so he could help them fight terrorism,” then kudos my friend. You’ve won a brand new Chrysler Cordoba and you can pick it up at Morty’s office.
Final verdict:
Despite its wild flaws, there was a movie in there somewhere (I think). Wilson carries it for a while – and if someone else could’ve picked up the slack (normally quality actors like Ribisi are wasted here), this might’ve been better. Too bad. D+
Don’t just take my word for it…
The Metacritic.com score was 60 out of 100 (“Mixed or average reviews”).
[Rated R for” strong sexual content, nudity, language, drug use and violence”]
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